Von Miller Has Interesting Theories On Evolution And Chickens
Denver linebacker Von Miller had 2.5 sacks in Super Bowl 50, and recently signed a $114.5 million contract with the Broncos. In fact, about the only bad decision he's made this year was to sing an Elvis Presley song while dancing the salsa on Dancing With the Stars in May.
And in case you didn't know, Miller has several deep thoughts. From The Ringer:
“In the next 5,000 years there won’t be any more freckles or red hair,” says Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller. “That’s the way humans are evolving.” Miller is sitting in Venice, California, during an offseason in which he’s become one of the most famous athletes in America. He’s stopped dealing himself cards so that he can focus fully on recounting a particularly juicy internet deep dive that led him to a batch of information he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about.
“We will all eventually be bald, too,” he adds, removing his hat and rubbing the thin layer of hair atop his head. “We lose hair because it helps us cool our brains faster. The smarter we get, the less hair we need, because our brains need to be cool. Also, we will lose another toe. We will have four toes.
“It’s not like I’ll be around for this,” the Super Bowl MVP says of a freckle-less, four-toed future. “But I think it’s dope.”
Miller also wants to start a chicken ranch, because "There's money in chickens, and I can make enough to set up my children, and my children's children." Yeah ... that NFL paycheck? That's just gambling money.
In 5,000 years, when bald, cool-brained, four-toed humans somehow come upon these quotes, Miller will get a statue at whatever facility houses the world government offices, and he will be lauded as the new Nostradamus. Sadly, these archaeologists will also see the photo above and assume that our best NFL players dressed that way.
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