Week 6 Twitter Throwdown: Patriots vs. Colts DeflateGate Rematch
Hey, do any of you guys know if the Patriots play the Colts tonight?
Just kidding, of you course you do because that stupid game will get the highest Sunday Night Football ratings of the year so far just because of DeflateGate. In any normal world where the quality of the matchup mattered more than the dramatic narrative of the characters, this game would be nothing more than a blip on the radar. The Patriots don't just historically beat the Andrew Luck-era Colts, they destroy them.
Since the 2012 season, the two teams have played each other four times; twice in the regular season and twice in the postseason. In those games, the Patriots are 4-0 and have outscored the Colts 189-73; and they've scored points in every way imaginable. Sure, Tom Brady has played phenomenally in all of their match ups with Indy, but he hasn't had to do it alone. In fact, it's been the Patriots run game that has truly dominated. Across the four games, the Patriots have scored eight passing touchdowns and 15 rushing touchdowns.
It's the lack of that exact type of balance on offense that has plagued the Colts across every season since acquiring Andrew Luck; but most especially against the Patriots. Now, not only is the Colts offense as one-dimensional as it's ever been - they are averaging 38 pass attempts per game - but Luck will be playing in his first game since suffering a shoulder injury in Week 3.
And it's not like he was playing at his best before he got hurt. Luck's passer rating over his first three games is 65.1. He's thrown five touchdowns and seven interceptions. Throw in the fact that as a team, the Colts have been outscored 99-119 over their first five games and tell me if you think that this game is poised to be anything other than a big fat flop for the Colts.
That doesn't mean that the Colts can't win. It doesn't mean that their fans won't be fire up at Lucas Oil Stadium, and it doesn't meant that they will lay down. Andrew Luck could come out and have his best game of the season so far and it could be a game for the ages.
Any given Sunday, and all that good stuff.
But let's face it, it probably won't happen that way. Every single thing we know about these two teams right now and the way they play against each other indicates that despite the fact that we all want to see some epic showdown, the greater likelihood is that the Colts fans and media will be smarting from another loss and whining about some new Patriot indecency on Monday morning.
And yet, we are still in that beautiful sweet spot on Sunday where anything could happen, and for this moment in time, the future is yet unknown. There is still hope for sweet, sweet redemption for Colts fans. The bravado and impenetrable ego of Patriots fans is in full throttle. And Twitter is there to capture a perfect screen shot of all of it for our enjoyment.
Here is the best of the early Sunday shit talking from Colts and Patriots fans. Let's kick it off with this fantastic ESPN headline:
WHY do we keep asking athletes' parents about their kids? First of all, Tom Brady has already secured his spot in the NFL Hall of Fame. His parents have the pleasure of knowing that they created and raised one of the most successful professional American athletes of all time. Do we expect his father to say anything different than this? If my sperm created Tom Brady, I'd be pretty high on it too.
Sounds about right.
Oh Glenn...everyone knows that if the football gods feel like punishing the Patriots, they will use the Giants to do it.
I have not a goddamned clue what is happening in this exchange. The breakfast food and beverage references don't have any clear correlation to the football game here, but at the same time, I kind of love it. I just wish I could eat eggs and type at the same time because now I'm hungry.
Considering his history against the Patriots, Luck might be doing the Colts a favor by not playing. But would Colts fans use it as an excuse if they lose?...
Of course they would.
CLASSIC meme. Neither creative nor particularly funny, but necessary to the pregame shit-talking process.
This is the most perfect tweet ever because his name is Ian McCue and look at his avi. That would be wild, Ian!
I could care less about whatever craptastic "hot take" Gregg Doyel is spewing here, but I'm impressed at how the artist of that cartoon managed to make Andrew Luck look even more terrifying than usual. The guy can't catch a break. I hope no one ever has to do a courtroom sketch of him.
Aw, now I feel kind of bad... let Colts fans live, Tanya!
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