What Could Those Two Angry Texans Fans Have Said To Matt Schaub While Harassing Him At His Home?

  • Eric Goldschein

matt schaub

Matt Schaub has sucked lately. Over the last three games he’s thrown more touchdowns to the other team than he has to his own, and now holds the NFL record for most consecutive games with a pick-six. That’s not good. But it probably doesn’t warrant two dudes showing up to his house and harrassing his family.

From CBS Houston:

A source close to law enforcement told The Fred and Ted Show late Tuesday evening that Houston Police were contacted by the NFL after fans approached Houston Texans quarterback Matt Schaub at his home and berated him for his recent poor play.

No arrests were made.

“A fan went to his house and told him off,” said the source, adding that another person “took pictures of his family,” which were allegedly posted on Facebook. Fortunately, neither Schaub nor anyone in his family was hurt.

First of all, Schaub is one guy on a team of 52, and though his mistakes are more prominent, he’s not the only person responsible for the team’s struggles. Second of all, he plays football for a living. He’s not, say, a member of the House of Representatives, which actually deserves active scorn. Unless you bet big money on that Texans game — and even then, you should know better — you should probably have better things to do than ruin your own day, and someone else’s, by going to their house to harrass them.

What could they possibly have said to Schaub anyway?

1. “You suck!”

Telling a guy who has been sucking that he sucks is A) Not news to him and B) Not helpful. Do you think he’s just been waiting for someone to tell him he’s been sucking? Do you think he thinks that he’s been playing well? No.

2. “Stop playing quarterback for our team!”

What, you really want T.J. Yates behind center? You saw how that went in 2011.

3. “I’m going to take pictures of your family and post them on the Internet. That’ll teach you!”

This one is the most theoretically perplexing. Why would you take photos of his family? Did you write “Dis family sux” on it in Microsoft Paint before posting? If so, please send us a copy, so we can delete it.

4. “You have a stupid face! It’s ugly!”

Matt Schaub could look like a swamp monster — he’s still part of an elite group of people that have NFL-caliber skills. I get the feeling that neither of these two harassers look like Brad Pitt. And they’re not in the NFL either. So, what does that make them?

5. “I care about football so much that I’d rather bring you down than support you!”

Okay, that’s not what they said. But it’s what they meant.

That pretty much exhausts all the options. Anything else is a variation of the four above themes. What did it accomplish? The cops were called. Schaub and his family were likely upset. And now the guy probably has more reason than ever to want to win a game for the people of Houston… if by win you mean “get traded to the Jaguars.”


Photo via Getty