What Happened Last Night: The Packers Can Still Destroy Everyone, The Cardinals Still Can’t Lose
Had something keeping you away from watching sports? Well, if you did, shame on you, because watching sports is the most important thing in the world. Because we care, though, we're still going to keep you up to date on what you missed, so you're not hurt too badly by your gross negligence. Below, what to take away from last night in sports. You're very welcome.
The Packers finally looked 2011-level unstoppable.
It was an increasingly legitimate concern: why didn't the Packers look anywhere near as good in 2012 as they did for the majority of last season? They were 2-3 going into last night's game against the Texans (granted, they should have been 3-2, but that's another story), and while Aaron Rodgers hadn't been bad by any stretch, he certainly wasn't on pace to put up the kinds of ridiculous numbers he did in 2011 (45 touchdowns, six interceptions) and was averaging over two fewer yards per pass attempt.
Well, uh, hope you didn't write Rodgers and the Packers off just yet. They waltzed into Houston last night to face the previously-unbeaten Texans and put on a show that rivaled anything from their blazing start last year, walking out with a 42-24 win. Rodgers? All he did was throw six touchdown passes, with no picks. If you're a Packers fan, you're feeling excited and relieved. If you're a Texans fan, or had the Texans' defense in your fantasy league (ahem), you're feeling... less so.
Monday Night Football TV info: Broncos at Chargers, 8:30 p.m., ESPN.
The Cardinals do not lose important games.
The Cardinals jumped out to a 6-0 lead against the Giants and held on for a 6-4 win in Game 1 of the NLCS. Carlos Beltran hit his 478th postseason home run, and David Freese added a two-run shot as well. The Cardinals increasingly look like they have been gifted, as a franchise, magical powers to pull out games when they need to be pulled out over the last couple seasons. Still a long way to go in the series, though... and if anyone could tell you that the outcome remains in doubt until that last last out is officially recorded, it's the Cardinals.
NLCS Game 2 TV info: Monday, 8 p.m., Fox.
The Tigers are suddenly unbeatable.
In earlier LCS action, the Tigers rebounded from being perfect-gamed through five innings to win 3-0 and take a 2-0 ALCS lead over the Jeter-less Yankees. The Tigers got a bad call to go in their favor, they play the next three games at home... and Justin Verlander hasn't even pitched yet. It, finally, is a good time to be Detroit.
ALCS Game 3 TV info: Tuesday, 8 p.m., TBS.
In 4 p.m. NFL action...
Just in case you weren't around even before the night game: the Seahawks beat the Pats, and Pete Carroll avoided spontaneously combusting with excitement. The Bills beat the Cardinals, and America avoided dying of boredom. The Giants crushed the 49ers: when the Giants are good, they're really good. Who's got it better than the Niners? Some. And finally - we went over it already, but the Redskins beat the Vikings, and Robert Griffin III is ridiculous.
Absurd NBA preseason predictions and/or extrapolations.
The Heat lost to the Clippers, falling to 1-2 in the preseason. Clearly, this means they will finish 27-55, and everyone can make fun of LeBron again. The Hawks, getting a head start on being as unrelentingly middling as possible, lost to the Grizzlies 110-102. And finally, the Rockets lost to the Spurs 116-107. Jeremy Lin shot 1-10, so he is the worst player in basketball history.
Enjoy Monday night. Hopefully you won't need our guide on Tuesday.
Getty photo, by Scott Halleran
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