Yes, You Can Figure Out Who The Jets Starting Quarterback Will Be By Reading The Bible

  • Dylan Murphy

It started with an innocent tweet from Tim Tebow:

But wait, is it that innocent? Some brief study of scripture reveals a rather ominous prophecy, one that might finally quiet the rumblings and settle the Jets quarterbacking dilemma. Tebow, as you can see, references the number 666 (the Devil’s number!). John 6:66 (the same number!) of the New Testament reads as follows:

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”

They’re not following Mark Sanchez anymore? What happened, isn’t he the starter? Yes, he’s been rather shitty of late, but give the man a chance. Then again, this passage does color Tebow’s tweet, because why exactly is God deserving of all the glory? He must have handed Tebow the starting job.

But wait! Doesn’t the “him” in that passage refer to Tim Tebow? So they’re not following Tebow anymore? Sanchez it is, then.

Hold on: Something’s going on with that “From this time.” Does it mean that it happens mid-game? So Sanchez is the starter until he’s pulled for Tebow? Or is Tebow pulled for Sanchez?

Actually, who the hell knows. Or cares.