Star Hockey Player Retires In Prime, Would Rather Live In Russia Than New York, World Makes No Sense

  • Matt Rudnitsky

Ilya Kovalchuk Retire Russia

Ilya Kovalchuk is a 30-year-old hockey player, one season removed from a Stanley Cup Finals appearance, one of the most dynamic players in the NHL, in his prime. He has 12 years left on his 15 year, $100 million deal that would have paid him $11.3 million next year.

This is one of the most confounding decisions a professional athlete has ever made.

It appears that he’s not retiring from hockey, just from the New Jersey Devils and the NHL. He’ll likely play at home in Russia.

To recap: a player is choosing to live in Russia rather than the New York area, to (probably) play in the KHL instead of the NHL. To recap: humans are not rational, and the world is screwed. Especially America. Next year, LeBron James will sign with a team in the Philippines and commute to games from his shanty in Cameroon.

Note: I’m a Devils fan and I have so many curses to curse and I need to go to the doctor because this wall was looking at me funny and I shut it up fiercely with my hand.

UPDATE: He’s playing in Russia.

h/t Tom Gulitti

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