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Insane Person Plans To Sail ‘Exact-Size’ Noah’s Ark From Netherlands To Rio Olympics (Peek Inside The Ark)

  • Rick Chandler


If you’re like me, you have all kinds of problems with the story of Noah’s Ark. I won’t get too far into the obvious — like, there are over 40,000 types of spiders in the world alone. Who was in charge of gathering two of all of them? And, wouldn’t the anteaters eat the ants?

Or this, below. OK God, I get it. Being gay is alright for lions, but not for people, is that it? Gotcha. But I wouldn’t count on these two propagating the species.


As for the photo at top: where’s the other giraffe?

None of this seems to bother The Ark of Noah Foundation, however. One of their members has built a “life-sized” actual Noah’s Ark, which stands seven stories and weighs 3,000 tons (sans animals). It cost $1.6 million to construct, and is located in South Amsterdam, the Netherlands, where it serves as a tourist attraction (take a tour of the inside in the slideshow below).

But its creator (sorry), Dutch millionaire Johan Huibers, is not content with leaving the Ark dry-docked in your imagination. He wants to sail this baby across the Atlantic, making stops in North America and, eventually, Rio de Janiero in time for the Summer Olympics.

The reason? From the Ark of Noah website: To offer hope and protection from the storms of life and salvation to millions. It’s mission is to bring the experience of hope and proclaim the astonishing truth – sins can be forgiven through faith in Jesus.

The Ark of Noah Foundation actually wants to do a lot of charitable work in Brazil. That’s good. But …

It’s going to cost around $1.97 million to sail the Ark to Rio. So the organization is asking for donations. But get this: a large portion of that cost is to buy a giant barge to carry the Ark across the sea. So, you’ve spent $1.6 million to build this, and it isn’t seaworthy. I understand. But wasn’t that the point? How did Noah do it in 967 BC if we can’t do it in 2016 AD?

It’s because you believe in evolution, heathen.

AONF admits on its site that its mission is to spread the word of creationism … just like J.K. Rowling spread the word of magic, I guess. But I can think of better ways to do this than to build a $3.5 million bed and breakfast for squirrels. (And why don’t the hawks eat the squirrels?).

Still, I have to admit that it looks pretty cool inside. Take the tour: