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Dumb Jocks: 9 Dumb Sports Things That Just Don’t Make Sense

  • David Gonos

dumb sports things

Whether you played sports when you were younger or you have just always been a sports fan, you likely have come across many different sports things that just don’t make sense. You might not have realized they didn’t make sense at the time, but that’s why we’re here! We will help you make sense of all this sports nonsense.

9 Dumb Sports Things That Just Don’t Make Sense

Just because these dumb sports things have existed for years doesn’t mean they should still exist in the coming years. Let’s reverse the dumb jock mentality!

Toronto Maple Leafs

They mean “Maple Leaves,” since it’s the plural of a Maple Leaf, but that would screw everyone up somehow. So we’ll dumb it down or the masses!

They’d be better off saying “Leafs” is how the French-Canadians spell “Leaves,” just like their rivals, the “Canadiens” in Montreal.

The Possession Arrow

When two basketball players get tied up on the court in the neighborhood, the guy that yells “First!” gets it. (Super dumb in its own right.) In college basketball, though, they have the ability to get great tosses by refs, but instead, they choose a stupid “possession arrow” that switches for every jumpball. Let’s give everyone a trophy!

“Moral Victory”

What this is supposed to mean – when you win a moral victory, it means you gained something unrelated to the contest that helps set you morally apart from the proper and improper. But that’s not how this is used in sports. In sports, they use the term “moral victory” when a huge underdog comes close to beating a giant, but they lose anyway. “Well, it was a moral victory for these young guys.”

No.

That’s a “morale” victory. It’s good for the team’s morale. The end. It has nothing to do with their morals.

Cleveland Browns

Let us count the ways Cleveland is dumb.

  1. They have a fan contest to name their pro football team, and the fans choose to name it after its general manager and coach, Paul Brown. Just think, we could still have the Carolina Capers and the Jacksonville Coughlins in the NFL if this is how we named teams.
  2. Brown later went on to help found the Cincinnati Bengals up the road – and the Browns kept their dumb name, even though it basically honors their rival’s coach. Smart.
  3. They don’t have a logo. A color is not a logo.
  4. Their helmets, which again, don’t have a logo, are orange, not brown.
  5. Even when they had a chance to let Baltimore take their dumb name, so they could get a new one with the expansion team a few years later. (Doesn’t Baltimore Browns even sound better?)

The New York Jets

Of course, it’s old news that both of the dumb New York football teams don’t even play in New York City, or state, even. But RotoExperts’ Scott Engel pointed out just how dumb the Jets name is to me.

The Jets were named as such because they originally played at Shea Stadium, near LaGuardia Airport in Flushing. Jets flew over that stadium frequently, and also, the United States entered the “Space” or “Jet” age at that time.

Here we are 55 years later, and the Jets play in New Jersey, far away from LaGuardia, and there’s not even a Space Shuttle program anymore.

Extra Time in Soccer

In the rest of the sane sports world, when someone is injured, the clock is stopped because it shouldn’t count against the gameplay. In soccer, they also agree that injury time shouldn’t take out minutes of action on the field, so that time is added to the end of the game as “Extra Time.” But rather than making that exact time known to players, coaches, spectators and commentators, the refs hold onto that secret themselves. Only they can declare when extra time is over!

Why? Get out of here with that crap.

Red Sox/White Sox

You named your teams after your socks? Throw the dumb Reds (Redlegs) in here, too. Now, I know from classic TV that the world was only in black and white before, like, 1965, but my guess is that those old baseball uniforms had colors in places other than just their socks.

And changing the “cks” to “x” doesn’t make it cool. It sux.

The Big 10 and Big 12

Yeah, so the Big 12 has 10 teams – and the Big 10 has 14 teams?

Big idiots.

Hey, you’re the dummies that named your dumb conference after how many teams were in it – how shortsighted could you be? That’s like me naming my child “Baby.”

I’d say be smart and follow the steps of the Pac-12, who were once named the Pac-8 and then Pac-10, but how dumb are they that they can’t stop using a number?

Just go with something tough like the Big Dogs Conference or the Big Boss Conference. How cool would it to win the conference title and be called “Big Boss Champions!”

Rotisserie Scoring

How does it make sense that the last team in a scoring category still gets 1 Rotisserie point? So if my Fantasy Baseball team hits zero home runs (quite possible with my drafting), then I still get 1 point? Awesome. And dumb.

Do you have any more dumb sports things you want to complain about? Hit me up @DavidGonos and let me know. Do you want to complain about some of the things I complained about? Grumble at me!

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David Gonos

David Gonos has been writing about sports online since 2001, including CBSSports.com, FoxSports.com, NFL.com, MLB.com and SportsIllustrated.com.