Luis Suarez Still Finds No Issue With Biting People
When FIFA bans you from any sanctioned soccer activities for four months while you recover from a knee injury -- because you bit someone -- you best count your lucky stars they didn't ban you indefinitely and shut your complainy cannibal hole.
Definitely don't play the sympathy card.
Alas, Luis Suarez thinks he was unduly subjected to the stress of being hounded by the media after biting Giorgio Chellini in a World Cup Group Stage match.
Dude, you make millions of dollars because people are interested in you. You can't have it both ways and expect them to back off when you do something so uniquely bizarre. In his online autobiography published in Sport, Suarez does exactly that.
"I had to almost secretly sign a contract without it becoming publicly known... we had to plan everything meticulously so that nobody would see us and there would be no photos...There was a plan with three cars leaving from three different exits in case the press had been tipped off...I got used to it being like an undercover operation. I left the house of my parents-in-law hidden in a car to trick the paparazzi...It was as if I was being treated like a criminal. The only reason I did not cry was because the coach was there."
Um, technically biting people is a crime (at least in most civilized countries not run by 6-year-olds), so you kind of should be treated like a criminal. Also, what kind of psychopath doesn't just repent after being caught biting other adults on live television, three times -- one of which was during the biggest televised sporting event in human history? I guess the answer is just "any old psychopath." Thanks for clarifying, Luis.
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