Possible Reasons For Micronesia’s 46-0 Loss To Vanuatu In Olympic Qualifying Soccer
Rick Chandler 01:06 pm, July 07th, 2015
The Federated States of Micronesia played three games in an Olympic qualifying soccer tournament, and lost them all by an aggregate score of 114-0 -- the latest a 46-0 defeat to Vanuatu. In that one, Jean Kaltack scored 16 goals, and the official scorekeeper abandoned his post (see below).
There's an empty desk where the official scorer was sitting. Nervous breakdown? THINK it's Vanuatu 32-0 Micronesia. pic.twitter.com/VHTEXtqAAZ
The Federated States of Micronesia consists of a group of islands just to the northeast of Australia that is part of the greater area of Micronesia, which has among them three U.S. territories -- the Northern Mariana Islands, Wake Island and Guam.
So how did this soccer abomination occur? Possible reasons:
* The Federated States of Micronesia's total population: 103,000. That's roughly half the population of San Bernardino, CA.
* Three Micronesian islands are no longer there, as they were vaporized in the Bikini Atoll nuclear tests by the U.S. between 1946 and 1958. This explains so much.
* Most Micronesia players have never been on an elevator. Coach Stan Foster, to The Guardian:
“Most of these [guys] have never been out of their villages let alone on to another island. I took them to Guam the other day [and it was] the first time they've been on an elevator or an escalator. It's been a huge step-up for these guys and they've just been overawed really."
* Why the blowout? Vanuatu couldn't take its foot off the gas because it needed 39 goals to advance out of its group in the tournament's aggregate goals scoring system. Micronesia also lost 30-0 to Tahiti and 38-0 to Fiji.
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