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7 Acceptable NFL Hairstyles That Could Help Colin Kaepernick Get A Job

7 Acceptable NFL Hairstyles That Could Help Colin Kaepernick Get A Job
  • Tanya Ray Fox

There has been some seriously contentious debate recently about whether or not it was appropriate for Michael Vick to suggest that Colin Kaepernick cut his hair – which has been styled in an afro – if he wants NFL teams to consider hiring him.

Sure, it sounds like the perpetuation of a harmful, unfair and bigoted stereotype that has plagued qualified black men and women in the work force for as long as we can remember. And yes, there’s conclusive evidence that an afro can fit under a helmet because hair is actually quite malleable and that’s how Kaepernick played all of last season.

But guys, the NFL is a BUSINESS. You dress for the job you want, not the job you have. The football field is no place for an unkempt mane. It’s high and tight out there. Steinbrenner style. Can you even think of an NFL player whose long locks were such a huge part of their identity?

Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu sits on the bench during the fourth quarter of an NFL football game against the Jacksonville Jaguars Sunday, Oct. 16, 2011, in Pittsburgh. The Steelers won 17-13. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar)

Neither can I. So being the altruistic person I am, I’ve put together a visual list of hairstyles that NFL players have sported while playing in order to give Kaepernick a better idea of what is acceptable for a football professional.

1. The “Team Pride”

rashied davis

If you’re rep the team you play for on as much of your visible body as possible, team owners will know that you really take your job seriously.

2. The “Sweaty Targaryen”

Houston Texans linebacker Brooks Reed (58) in the fourth quarter of a preseason NFL football game against the New Orleans Saints Saturday, Aug. 20, 2011, in Houston. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

A beautiful blonde mane and a winning smile worked for Gisele Bundchen, Brooks Reed and the Mother of Dragons. Learn from the successes of others.

3. The “Windblown Disney Princess”

clay matthews

This is closely related to the Sweaty Targaryen, only it requires that you constantly remove your helmet and throw your hair around in the breeze like Pocahontas singing ‘Colors of the Wind’.

4. The “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late For You”

** ADVANCE FOR WEEKEND EDITIONS, SEPT. 29-30 -- FILE -- ** Atlanta Falcons defensive back DeAngelo Hall has a message for Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Johnson shaved in his head, during a preseason football game against the Bengals in Atlanta, in this Aug. 27, 2007 file photo. (AP Photo/John Bazemore)

Show that you’re a true competitor who doesn’t let other players get in your head by writing them a personalized note. On the back of your head.

5. The “Saved By The Bell”

Antonio Garay

Geometric symmetry and bright colors from head to beard. If you style your hair after the opening credits to an early 90’s TV show, people will understand that you’re well-rounded with many interests.

6. The “American Ninja Warrior”

Jalen Mills

If you watch that show, you know what’s up. This is some straight Jamie Rahn shit right here. If you don’t watch that show, then you should. They’re allowed to be talented athletes AND have whatever kind of hair they want!

7. The “Jasmine”

Philadelphia Eagles linebacker Bryan Braman (56) on the bench during the first half of an NFL preseason football game against the Indianapolis Colts in Indianapolis, Saturday, Aug. 27, 2016. (AP Photo/Darron Cummings)

A relative of both No. 2 and No. 3, the Jasmine is the classiest, most sought after ponytail style in the history of ponytails – or at least since “Aladdin” was released in 1992.

Tanya Ray Fox

Tanya Ray Fox is a sportswriter and producer who has worked for nearly 7 years in both digital and television sports media. She has previously worked in TV production experience for Comcast SportsNet New England, NFL Network and Time Warner Cable Sports. In addition to her work for SportsGrid and appearances on the affiliated FNTSY Sports Network, she is also a contributor for USA Today's Rams Wire.