Someone had a little too much fun at their Memorial Day weekend barbecue:
As first reported by WPTV in Palm Beach, golfer and renowned idiot Tiger Woods was arrested around 3am for driving under the influence in his hometown of Jupiter, Florida. Woods was booked into Palm Beach County Jail and released on his own recognizance with no bond at about 10:50 am.
This fucking guy. The man is one of the most famous people on the planet, and Memorial Day weekend is a notorious party weekend. It’s generally treated like a warm up for 4th of July. So cops are already on high alert. I have no idea how many times he might’ve gotten away with drinking and driving in the past, but that’s a bold move for someone who people are literally always on the lookout for when they’re in Jupiter.
I’ll never understand celebrities thinking they can drive under the influence and not get caught. They can’t even sneak into the back of a fancy restaurant without paparazzi jumping out from behind a dumpster. Woods is very, very rich. I’m sure this will be taken care of swiftly, which is why I’m grateful it happened in Florida where they straight up post your mug shots on the internet the next morning.
And while most people have Monday off for the holiday, Twitter still put in work – coming through in the clutch with all of the necessary tweets.
•"Hi I'm Tiger Woods, and I have Direct TV."
•"And I'm the other Tiger Woods, and I have Cable." pic.twitter.com/HE7li2yvjs
— Dylan (@DylansFreshTake) May 29, 2017
Tiger Woods is worth $740 million.
He can afford all of the Ubers.
— Jonny Loquasto (@JQuasto) May 29, 2017
SPOTTED: Tiger woods on his way to the next hole pic.twitter.com/twxX4qigpi
— BenchWarmers (@BeWarmers) May 29, 2017
Tiger Woods showing up to the green this morning pic.twitter.com/oMChDDqEl4
— sierra gabriel . (@sierragabriell) May 29, 2017
Tiger Woods, holidays, late nights and vehicles do not mix.
— Lawrence (@BlindLawrence) May 29, 2017
Tiger Woods' life in a nutshell pic.twitter.com/0ISBTkULqe
— Charlotte (@SnowmanEmbiid) May 29, 2017
Tiger Woods spotted leaving Police station on own recognizance pic.twitter.com/Ysr99YOmVy
— CtheLightTrading (@canuck2usa) May 29, 2017
No matter how drunk you get today, you probabaly won't be "Tiger Woods in his DUI mugshot" drunk. pic.twitter.com/JjndlBgdzJ
— Lord Single Malt (@Singlemaltfiend) May 29, 2017
bruh why did @SportsCenter give tiger the photoshop fade???
i'm crying real tears, Tiger Woods a damn LEGEND pic.twitter.com/f9lkfK0Mze
— WGN Ent. (@WGN_enterprise) May 29, 2017
Tiger Woods / Tiger Wouldn't pic.twitter.com/MibKTBcV5M
— Ollie Garch (@ojedge) May 29, 2017
Gucci happy as hell posing in GQ, and Tiger Woods is out here getting DUIs looking like an armpit. 2017 weird as hell. pic.twitter.com/8E8DU4UOH3
— OMG, LaJethro (@LaJethroJenkins) May 29, 2017
Weird as hell indeed, my friend. Weird as hell indeed…