WTF: Rick Reilly Compares Kevin Durant To Kate Upton’s Boobs
Rick Reilly's career is a mystery to many. Once a revered and highly awarded writer for Sports Illustrated in its heyday, he's now best known for joining ESPN and quickly devolving into a caricature of himself before entering into early retirement to say embarrassing things on social media.
Well apparently his lack of self-awareness is a terminal condition, because he brought his absolute worst on Tuesday afternoon when he tried to entertain the kids with this perplexing take on the news that Kevin Durant is now a Golden State Warrior:
Whatever you are thinking right now: yes, that's exactly right.
There is no wrong reaction to this tweet, other than acting like you understand it. Reilly's unsuccessful attempt at the sports metaphor is alarming, especially considering the man is an 11-time recipient of the NSSA National Sportswriter of the Year award. His comparison between Durant's free agency decision and a young supermodel's hypothetical third breast manages to be both inept and very creepy. What a combination.
He sounds like a high school kid trying to convince his friends that he likes naked girls even though he freaks out every time he walks by the bra section at Walmart. Bravo, nearly sixty-year-old man. You tweeted about boobs! Plus, who are you to even say that a third breast wouldn't be appealing? Maybe not to you, but you can't speak for everyone's taste. There's a reason that people still Google Total Recall so often, and it's not out of 90's nostalgia...
Anyhow, the good people of the Twitterverse did not disappoint in their swift and brutal assessment of Reilly's tweet. Not only did they compile some of the best reaction GIFs since that NFL schedule Twitter snafu, but they said exactly what the rest of us were thinking:
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