Banning Sex Also Means Banning Success At The World Cup, Apparently

  • Rick Chandler

This just in: every team that had a sex ban during the World Cup is now, well, back home having sex. As you know, some coaches and organizations banned their teams from and sexy-time shenanigans during the tournament — many of them, including England, even forbiding loved ones from accompanying the players to Brazil. Bosnia striker Edin Dzeko’s failure at the World Cup could be attributed to time spent apart from his girlfriend Amra Silajdzic, says at least one report.

Among those to ban WC nookie were Spain, Russia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Chile, England and Mexico — none of which made it past the final 16. Meanwhile, Argentina, Brazil, Costa Rica, France, Germany, and The Netherlands all allow sex, and all are still alive. (For every WC team missing from these lists, no sex policy could be determined). But among those teams, actual rules vary. Here’s a handy guide:

And the rules are complicated on these teams: France (you can have sex but not all night), Brazil (you can have sex, but not “acrobatic” sex), Costa Rica (can’t have sex until the second round) and Nigeria (can sleep with wives but not girlfriends)

So there’s no scientific research so far showing that sex has any impact on athletic performance: unless that sex actually occurs during the competition. Yet may coaches still employ the mental chastity belt, and swear by it. Perhaps oddsmakers should factor this in next time.