Belgian Cyclist Explains Grossest Injury Ever In Great Detail
Belgian cyclist Tom Boonen finished a respectable sixth place in stage 12 of the Vuelta a España on Wednesday. Overall, though, his output in this year's race hasn't quite been up to par, and Boonen explained why he's struggling to one of his national newspapers.
We wish he hadn't.
You see, according to Boonen, poor conditioning or a lack of confidence haven't been the reasons for his recent troubles. No, the real reason is much, much grosser than that.
"My condition is not the problem,” he told Het Nieuwsblad. “My legs feel good, but from the friction of the pants with the saddle I’ve been suffering for a while with an injury to my scrotum. The extreme heat and excessive sweating has irritated that area a lot."
He then summed up his condition (quite succinctly!) by saying, "There is a hole."
Ah. A hole. I see. Well then, that's quite brave of you, Mr. Boonen. Riding through the Galician mountains on a bicycle while there is a hole in your scrotum like that. Might we suggest, though, that you hop off the bike seat for a few weeks? We know: you are a prideful Belgian cycling champion. We get it. But at a certain point, pride has to take a backseat to your backseat, and courage has to defer to the fact there's a hole in your scrotum.
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