Cristiano Ronaldo And Lionel Messi Don’t Consider Each Other All That Good At Soccer

  • Jake O'Donnell

As the Portuguese midfielder took home the Ballon d’Or yesterday (which is basically the international soccer equivalent of an MVP award), results of the voting revealed that neither he, nor injured Barcelona midfielder Lionel Messi, voted for each other as the best in the world.

Or second best.

Or even third best.


Ronaldo — who, for the record is a complete turd — voted for three excellent players, all of which had absolutely no chance of winning the award. Same goes for Messi, who just voted for his teammates. Understandable, considering no one wants to cast the deciding vote for their competition, but it’s silly that they both didn’t just vote for each other and effectively cancel out their votes entirely. I guess there’s just not enough trust between the two.

[] Colombian striker Radamel Falcao as number one, (as did the skippers of Ecuador and Colombia) his team-mate at Real Madrid Gareth Bale and Arsenal playmaker Mesut Özil.

Messi on the other hand voted for three of his Barcelona team-mates – Andrés Iniesta, Xavi and Neymar…

Not shockingly, the final results of the voting had Ronaldo at 27.99, Messi at 24.72, and Bayern Munich scary Frenchman Frank Ribery with 23.39. Surprisingly, PSG striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic didn’t finish anywhere close to the top, despite French pornstar Virgine Caprice’s body paint campaign. The Swedish national had to settle for “Goal of the Year,” for that bicycle kick he pulled off against England, which ironically occurred back in 2012.

Not sure how it still qualified for an award ceremony in 2014, but we’re of the mindset that it should always win this award, because it really is the best goal of all time.