Dennis Rodman Might Know More About Kim Jong Un Than The CIA

  • Dylan Murphy

Look: say what you will about Dennis Rodman and his budding friendship with Kim Jong Un, but know that he might just be the most vital person to our national security. Not just through his diplomatic schmoozing, however unsuccessful, but his not-so-covert penetration of Kim Jong Un’s inner circle. That’s hallowed and exclusive territory right there, largely impervious to CIA overtures, disguised or not.

Dennis Rodman is not CIA. He’s just some dude playing basketball and making an HBO documentary and eating and drinking and carousing with the country’s leader. Or, maybe, he is. Maybe it was all a ruse, shoving Rodman’s trip in the public eye to conceal the real design of movements. Commoners that we are, we’ll never know. But what we do know is that, intentionally or not, Dennis Rodman is in an ultra-exclusive know.

Via Yahoo!:

“The U.S. State Department had no involvement in the visit, and officials say they have no plans to debrief Rodman after his meeting with one of the world’s most mysterious leaders. Col. Steve Ganyard, USMC (Ret.), a former deputy assistant secretary of state and ABC News consultant, told ABC’s Martha Raddatz the State Department’s decision is ‘ridiculous.’

‘There is nobody at the CIA who can tell you more personally about Kim Jong Un than Dennis Rodman, and that in itself is scary,’ Ganyard said.”

Nobody. That’s zero persons, by our count. Of course we can’t take this as certain fact, but apparently coaching topless women’s basketball is the quickest way to the heart of one of the world’s most dangerous men.