Second Half Fantasy Baseball Preview, In Liam Neeson-Esque List Form

I’m always makin lists…

…and who doesn’t love a list. Especially in none slideshow form.


5 pitchers likely to wear down or be shut down

Shelby Miller
Jose Fernandez
Matt Harvey
Julio Teheran
Kyle Gibson

5 Pitchers to Acquire

Homer Bailey
Lance Lynn
Doug Fister
Rick Porcello
Jeff Samardizja

5 TV shows to tide you over until ‘Breaking Bad’ returns

Orange is the New Black
The Bridge
Family Tree
The Challenge
Venture Bros.

5 Pitchers to Trade Away

Jeff Locke
Patrick Corbin
Hiroki Kuroda
Mike Leake
Bartolo Colon

5 Hitters that have done their jobs, so cash in now

Jhonny Peralta
Pedro Alverz
Freddie Freeman
Joe Mauer
Michael Cuddyer

5 must watch movies you’ve likely never seen

The Castle
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Kings of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

5 bats to go out and get

Prince Fielder
Yoenis Cespedes
Edwin Encarnacion
Albert Pujols
Coco Crisp

5 players in the minors who will help by season’s end

Nick Castellanos (DET)
Hunter Morris (MIL)
Taijuan Walker (SEA)
George Springer (HOU)
Xander Bogaerts (BOS)

5 Best Fruits

Seedless green grape

5 pieces of Waiver Wire trash that can be your treasure

David Murphy
Aaron Hicks
Dustin Ackley
Justin Ruggiano
Drew Stubbs

5 guys most likely to get injured… again

Brian Roberts
Troy Tulowitzki
Josh Johnson
Chase Utley
Matt Kemp

5 rappers better than Dylan


5 Players I nailed in the preseason

Adam Wainwright
Carlos Gonzalez
A.J. Burnett
Jacoby Elsbury
Cliff Lee

5 others… not so much

Albert Pujols
Dan Haren
Roy Halladay
Josh Rutledge
Martin Prado

things sloths do

Eat algae off their fur
Eat cocaine off America’s gravestone
Break your nose and kick your face in a punch fight
Hire a dog to burn down a hospital
Sleep 18 hours but always party 24

5 guys who need to stop eating at ’5 Guys’ so frequently

Bartolo Colon
Matt Adams
Pablo SANDOVAL aka Flablo Sandofat aka Fat Ichiro
Billy Butler
Jonathan Broxton

5 relievers who will get time closing

Blake Parker
Charlie Furbush
Cody Allen
Jose Cisnero
Jim Henderson

5 more must watch movies you’ve likely never seen

Ed Wood
In Bruges
Run Lola Run
There Will Be Blood
A Mighty Wind

5 players I love the rest of the way for no tangible reasons. I just love them

Jedd Gyorko
Kenley Jansen
Nick Franklin
Chris Archer
David Freese

5 available guys that can boost a single category

Speed – Eric Young Jr.
Average – Alberto Callaspo
Home Runs – Justin Smoak
RBIs – Lonnie Chisenhall
Runs – David Lough

5 animals you’ll never want to see again

This thing
Terror Bird

5 best hitters in the second half

Mike Trout
Miguel Cabrera
Ryan Bruan
Carlos Gonzalez
Andrew McCutchen

5 Best Pitchers in the second half

Clayton Kershaw
Adam Wainwright
Felix Hernandez
Cliff Lee
Chris Sale

Have your own list?  Leave them in the comments.

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