It’s Official: Fox Sports 1 Kills ‘The Speed Channel’, Plans On Being Most ‘Murican TV Network In Existence

  • Jake O'Donnell

Everybody! Put down your slurpies and round up your 12 children…there’s a new sports TV channel and it’s the tits! Seriously, though. Look at the lineup. After seeing Fox Sports 1’s debut schedule, we can confidently say that this experiment bleeds red, white, and blue. UFC, NASCAR, and NCAA Football? Damn, couldn’t find room for a live Kenny Chesney concert in there?

tv schedule

What’s weirder, is that this station will prominently feature soccer, as well. Like, the English Premier League will be one of it’s other primetime engagements. That’s right — Fox Sports 1 is the channel designed specifically for the Anglophile redneck audience. Check out their Tuesday lineup, for contrast.

What’s worse, is that in order to do this, they had to consume the former Miss America: The Speed Channel. That’s right, no más. It’ll now be a part of something much greater, much more ‘Murican. Watch the last few moments of the institution, and try to keep the tears away…

[Update: Please note that we are not responsible for this change in programming. Go here for more reactions to the death of Speed.]