Here Are The New U.S. World Cup Soccer Unifo … Hey, What Is Clint Dempsey Doing With His Hand?

  • Rick Chandler

Here are the new uniforms — sorry, the new kit — for the U.S. for the upcoming World Cup. Nike explains that the all-white look represents “optimism”, which is a nice way of saying “Considering the draw we got, we should have went solid black, with mourning veils.”

The U.S. will be in Group G with Germany, Portugal and Ghana. (Plays “Taps”).

So to get our minds off of all that overwhelming opposition talent, they gave the U.S. team golf shirts. Also the team seems to be getting younger. Either that or we now have a national 10-U team.

Here’s how Nike explains the look:

The new kit clearly showcases the USA’s national pride and distinct sense of style, while also capturing the nation’s eternal optimism,” said Martin Lotti, Creative Director for Nike Soccer.

Here’s a closer look: (model is obviously invisible Jonathan Spector).

When designing uniforms, my motto has always been, go with the color that’s sure to show the most dirt and mud.

Meanwhile, in other lands …


Your table is ready, Croatia. May I start you with a cocktail?

Italian uniforms have secret codes: