‘Hey, That’s Not Your Real Penis!’ Is What We Hope Somebody Said To The Guy Using A Fake Penis To Beat A Drug Test

  • Eric Goldschein

urine kitIt’s been a fantastic week for failed drug test afficiandoes. First there was Von Miller and the star struck urine collector, and now this, the Ballad of Devis Licciardi, who going forward will be known as “the guy with the fake penis.”

So the guy with the fake penis is an Italian runner who was asked to take a drug test immediately following a 10k in Molfetta, Puglia. Then this happened (from The Telegraph):

The 27-year-old athlete, a member of the Italian air force team, was allegedly caught trying to siphon off “clean” urine from the fake penis, which was concealed in his underpants.

Well then. We may never know what tipped off the doctor to the fact that the guy with the fake penis was using a fake penis…

-Did the skin tone not match?
-Was it comically oversized?
-Was it just a dildo filled with heavily diluted apple juice?

…but we are so, so glad that this story exists, and we’re betting Von Miller feels the same way. Now he can point to the guy with the fake penis and say, “Hey, at least I’m not this guy.”

If you think you can do a better job of convincing people that your fake penis is in fact your real penis, here’s where you can buy a fake penis (NSFW, for fake penises).