ICYMI: There Were A Bunch Of Boobs On Kimmel Last Night
Miley Cyrus doesn't really wear "shirts" anymore, that is to say she wears "adhesives" over her nipples, then drapes a besequined rainbow pantsuit over the rest and just wings it. That's her thing -- she plays by her own rules and gives zero fucks and looks like a porn-version of Robin Williams' character from "Death To Smoochie."
"My dad would rather me have my tits out and be a good person than have a shirt on and be a bitch," she told Jimmy Kimmel Wednesday night.
FYI: "wearing clothing" and "being a good person" are not binary options. Does Miley Cyrus think that there's something about covering up one's body actually makes people grumpy? Has she ever been (even slightly) fat? Can someone take TOO MUCH ecstasy?
"I see a lot of people with their clothes on and they're assholes and I don't know if it has something to do with the clothes," she said. Guess that answers our question.
"If you've got your tits out you can't really be an asshole," she added.
Ya, you're right -- unless you're being an asshole by having your tits out in the first place. Also, thinking there's a secret loophole to avoid being an asshole is the number one thing assholes think. I like to imagine Miley Cyrus -- boobs out and all -- taking a seat from an old lady on the subway, and citing her nudity as a reason why it was ok for her to do that. "But my tits are out, I can't be an asshole!"
But the best part of the show came when (SPOILER) 50-year-old Ali Wentworth (originally from In Living Color) came out after Cyrus and flashed the audience wearing similar glitter-pasties, a clear commentary on the logic that showing your breasts somehow inherently makes you a good person. By the end of the show, Kimmel looked like his head was gonna explode. We're not blaming him. It was a long, sparkly-boobed night.
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