Lenny Dykstra was a well-liked baseball player in his first life. Then he turned into a seemingly successful investor and businessman. Later, he got into financial trouble and became the cover boy for the anthology of pro-athlete-goes-bankrupt-and-life-goes-to-shit stories. Seriously, his story might be the worst of an almanac of awfulness.
A former employee of Dykstra during the abominable man’s financial career, Christopher Frankie, has written a book on Lenny Dykstra. The New York Post has a feature on the book, and you should probably read it right now. It details his financial catastrophe, as well as his revolting behavior that you seriously may not believe, even if you already understand how awful of a human being Dykstra is. You can read about how he “impregnated three women in the same night and made them all get abortions,” called Derek Jeter and Tiger Woods “darkies” and harassed women in unspeakable ways, via Craigslist ads. But the Post has all of that godawful stuff covered, so we’re going to focus on the less serious side of this, because that’s what we do.
But Dykstra — whose idea of fun was to “leave a large amount of feces in the toilet . . . so he could hear the shrieks of the hotel’s grossed-out maids” — heaped abuse on people far beyond the financial.
Okay, so he’s a middle school boy. This is childish and brotastic and mean, but not all that surprising. But wait, there’s more…
Claiming $31 million in debts against assets of less than $50,000, Dykstra filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. He also sought $10 million from his insurance company for supposed water damage to his mansion, but it was soon reported that Dykstra had vandalized his own house. By the end of 2009, The Wall Street Journal reported that Dykstra’s mansion was “unshowable,” as it was “littered throughout with empty beer bottles, trash and dog feces and urine among other unmentionables.” Dykstra was removed from the home and “barred from the exclusive gated community.”
This is getting weird. So he put or left dog feces in his house? Why does he like poop so much? But more importantly, he’s not the only disgraced ex-athlete to have poop-related news come out recently.
Ex-NBAer Robert Swift (no relation to poop-news-less Stromile) was also in the news recently for his own troubles. His house was foreclosed, and there is video of its disgusting state.
Yes, Robert Swift also has animal feces at his house, though his is outside, on the deck.
Maybe Swift can get back on his feet by offering counseling to bankrupt, feces-fascinated ex-athletes. As for Dykstra, hopefully he rots in jail, waist-deep in his feces-filled cell.
Photo via CBS News