Today In “Kids Who Make You Feel Like A Failure”: A Texas High Schooler Benched 700 Pounds

  • Glenn Davis

Need some motivation to start your Monday? Something that’ll make you feel like a complete waste of space if you don’t get up and attack the day with everything you have? How’ a guy benching 700 pounds grab you. Actually, strike that – how’s a teenager benching 700 pounds grab you? Here you go:

That’s Matt Poursoltani, a 5-10, 270-pound senior at Pilot Point High School in Texas (yes, he also plays football, though his frame is pretty much ideally suited to bench pressing excellence, whereas college football powerhouses would likely want their defensive linemen to be a bit taller). How does he lift that absurd amount of weight – more than 100 pounds more than any other high schooler in Texas ever has? Well, the Ron-Swanson-esque diet helps:

The senior eats six sunny-side-up eggs every morning along with whatever meat he can get his hands on. Bacon, sausage and cans of tuna have all become staples in his diet.

He eats protein-rich foods but eschews protein shakes. Lunch is usually a sandwich with cold cuts, and one recent dinner consisted of two 16-ounce steaks and collard greens.

As does a workout routine that, well, might not be the greatest idea in the world:

Going against a recommended workout regimen, Poursoltani started benching every day. Then, despite warnings from his doctor, he continued to do lower-body workouts in the winter. He took third at state last year and benched 570 pounds.

“I’ve actually seen young kids go and bench every day,” [Pilot Point lifting coach Jody] Allen said. “Theoretically it’s not good for you or healthy for you. It’s not the way you want to go. But I’ve seen a lot of kids get stronger for it.”

Adds Poursoltani: “I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.”

And now, the elephant in the room. We know you’re thinking it. Ever since you watched the video, your internal monologue has gone something like “whoa that’s a lot of weight there wait a minute roids roids roidsroidsroidsroidsroidsROIDSROIDSROIDSROIDSROIDS.” Well, it might not quiet your suspicions, but Poursoltani says no, he doesn’t have any extra help:

“If you need something to help you work out, you need to get out of the sport,” Poursoltani said. “If you can’t drive yourself that hard to come in here and work out, then it’s probably just not for you.”

Ad if you can block those suspicions from your head for a moment, you realize: holy crap, can this kid lift a bunch of weight. Like, to the point where – especially when you hear things like “going against a recommended workout regimen” – you worry for his long-term health just a bit. But if you block that out of your head too, you’re left with this: Poursoltani’s pretty damn spectacular at what he does. Well, that and a desire to make bad puns with his name. You know, stuff like:

Q. What does Matt do when he sees a slug in his garden?
A. Poursoltani[t]

See, if that doesn’t want to make you get in a workout so you can inflict maximum physical damage on the person who wrote that (me), I don’t know what will.

[Prep Rally]