Michael Phelps Continues To Be The Most Uninspiring Olympian Ever, Barely Qualifies For The 400m IM Final

  • Dylan Murphy

Michael Phelps has given underwhelming interview after underwhelming interview of late, refusing our Olympic coronation and instead admitting that he hates the water. Well, then.

Phelps continued his pedestrian ways at his first Olympic qualifying meet, squeaking into the final of the 400m individual medley by seven hundreths of a second. Even though Phelps won his heat in 4 minutes, 13.33 seconds, the time pales in comparison to his Beijing world record of 4 minutes, 3.84 seconds. His time barely beat Laszlo Cseh of Hungary, silver medalist in the event at Beijing, who finished ninth and will not compete in the final.

Maybe the best part of it all is that Phelps will be in lane 8, an outermost lane, and, since he only breathes to his right, he’ll get a face full of wall on the final length instead of seeing the competition.

Phelps’ inadequacy wasn’t the only shocker from qualifying, as South Korea’s Park Tae-hwan was disqualified for a false start and world record-holder Paul Biedermann didn’t even make the final.