Mr. President, We Need Your Answer: Which Goat Is Better At Soccer?

  • Jake O'Donnell

In a perfect world, we’d all have a spirit animal with whom we’d play our favorite sports. They’d let us win (even though they’re basically magic and could do just about anything) and then you would just ride the damn thing off into the sunset shouting about how happy you were.

In reality, we just have the internet — which apparently is filled with videos of people throwing soccer balls at goats. Why? Because goats have evolved to head-butt everything that gets near their ugly little goat faces. But you don’t need to know the backstory, you just need to watch.

The first video is newer the of the two — the Andrew Wiggins of goats, if you will. Unproven on the big stage but clearly athletic/goaty enough to become the G.O.A.T.

Then there’s this guy, also a goat, who has been the reigning goat-soccer champ ever since America’s funniest home videos discovered him when he was a kid.

Please, give us your professional opinion as to which goat you’re more impressed by, by angrily tweeting your misspelled thoughts at us, here. Thank you.