Our Winter Olympic Athletes Will Look Good As Hell In Sochi Because We’re America And Suck It Russia

  • Jake O'Donnell

What better way to tell the Russians “We don’t respect your sexuality politics” than by wearing über fashionable winter apparel to the Sochi Olympics? Answer: Nothing (though simply telling them “We don’t respect your sexuality politics” is worth a shot). Nike just dropped their Team USA Olympic line, and we’re impressed. Shiny, neon, thermal, starred, stripped — all the things we want in competitive winter sports gear. Seriously, some of this stuff looks dope (other stuff looks more at home in a mid-nineties Mase video), and as far as Olympic gear goes, Nike hit a home run.

Because no one is yet to explain why Ralph Lauren is put in charge of making our athletes look like tennis line judges. We will admit, the Ralph Lauren winter Olympic line is an improvement on the London games look (but still, they kind of look like turn-of-the-century ski instructors).