Note To Women With Breast Implants: Be Careful If Playing Paintball
It's August, and that means it's one of the slower times on the sports calendar. You've got pennant races starting to heat up in baseball, but the real drama won't kick in for a month or so. The NFL is still in preseason mode, and the NBA, for all intents and purposes, doesn't exist. Sometimes, the relative lack of news leads us to write about things we might not normally write about, out of sheer desperation to find anything newsworthy/funny to pass the time until more things start happening. You might recognize these posts when you see them.
This, friends, isn't one of them.
Out of England comes perhaps the strangest result in paintballing history: a woman's breast implant ruptured after she was hit at a recent game. According to the Daily Telegraph, it's "the first time such an injury is believed to have occurred in Britain." You don't say.
Because of the injury, UK Paintball, an organization overseeing dozens of paintball facilities in the country, will now recommend female competitors with breast implants don extra chest protection while playing. We'd say that only seems natural, but...yeah. UK Paintball did confirm that "we've never seen an incident like this," but deemed it "a real wakeup call" and had a message of warning for a particular segment of the population:
"[I]t's worth remembering that having bigger breasts will make you an easier target for your enemies."
We're not sure that's going to make anyone feel sorry for women with said bigger breasts, however.
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