Hooligan MacGyvers: Soccer Fans Kept Out Of Stadium, Rig Flare To Parachute, Send It Over Wall And Down On To Field

  • Jake O'Donnell

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Likewise, when international soccer governing body UEFA bans you from entering your stadium because you keep shooting fireworks at the other team, make parachute flares and send them over the stadium wall. It’s actually pretty brilliant. You’ve gotta measure wind speed, get the trajectory right, build a parachute, be a dick. What’s even better about this, is these supporters of Turkish soccer club Fenerbache keep interrupting ties. Hey, anything to spice up another Europa League snoozefest, am I right?

(This sport is hemorrhaging integrity.)

It reminds me of the part in Skyfall, when they lock the bad guy up in a crazy underground bunker cell, and he somehow manages to still wreak havoc on the streets above. Not to malign these clearly well-intentioned fans of the beautiful game, but why are they so hell-bent on stopping play? That’s like going to a movie and standing in front of the projector. And even if they’re just trying to have fun, releasing a floating flare into an empty stadium is, well, just not as much fun when you’re not there to see it burning up on the field. I suppose this is the Turkish equivalent of the old flaming-bag-of-poop-on-the-doorstep-trick.