Pretty Much Screwed: The 2013-14 Charlotte Bobcats
Welcome to “Pretty Much Screwed,” our definitive guide to the upcoming NBA season. This team-by-team preview details why it’s probably not your favorite team’s year. Now: Let's discuss the *hic!* Charlotte Bobcats.
So you're a Bobcats fan? As a great man once said, "My advice to you, is to start drinking heavily."
And now you can do just that, much more efficiently, because they've opened a new Craft Beer Garden at Time Warner Cable Arena. Nine local and regional brewers, 18 taps, no waiting. The $75,000 themed beer oasis replaces the old Flight Deck bar (RIP). I say forget the game and hang out at the beer garden.
"Listen to him Flounder, he's in pre-med."
From Sports Business Daily:
The Bobcats recognized craft beer is a “hot growth topic” statewide and the Craft Beer Garden helps the team improve the fan experience by providing higher quality beers and strengthens the team’s beer category with a greater selection. The nine brewers showcasing their products are Duck Rabbit and Mother Earth (Raleigh), Foothills (Winston-Salem), Highland (Asheville), Natty Greene’s (Greensboro) and Heist, NoDa, Olde Mecklenburg, Triple C (Charlotte). All those beers will be served in the arena’s lower level as well.
Draft beer prices are $8 and $10. The Crafty Beer Guys, a Charlotte firm, designed the space with tables, chairs and televisions to watch the game. Bobcats VP/Marketing Partnerships Dave Beck spearheaded the deal. The Craft Beer Garden opens Nov. 1 for the Bobcats’ regular-season opener against the Cavaliers.
So you've got that going for you, Bobcats' fans. As for the actual team ...
You Can Call Me Al
Some abandoned houses in the Charlotte area may have posters of Bismack Biyombo on the walls -- a reminder of unhappier times when they couldn't produce points in the paint to save their lives. Byron Mullens, anyone? But now Al Jefferson has arrived to save the day, Michael Jordan snapping him up for around $41 million over three years. Hey, it's only money.
Then, Jefferson sprained an ankle.
How key he's going to be to Charlotte's season quickly became apparent: they struggled to get open 3's in the preseason, because no one was trying to double the post. Also, the rebounding was weak. But ... good news!
According to @rick_bonnell, Al Jefferson is going through walk thru's w/ team and will be good to go for opener barring a setback.
— Spencer Percy (@QCHspencer) October 24, 2013
But Here's The Horrible Truth
Charlotte is improved, but that's not saying a heck of a lot for a team that finished 21-61 last season. Re-signing Gerald Henderson was good, and with PG Kemba Walker, power forward Cody Zeller, small forward Michael Kidd-Gilchrist and shooting guard Henderson, the offense is going to be serviceable. Ben Gordon off the bench is a good thing to have, and Ramon Sessions averaged 14.4 points and 3.8 assists in the preseason. But Charlotte's defense is going to be just this side of terrible: what good is a slightly improved offense if you can't make stops? To make the playoffs, they're going to have to somehow climb over the Pistons, Wizards, Cavaliers and Hawks, who will all be vying for those final spots. We don't see it happening.
But then, we didn't think The Howard would be a success, either.
Here's The Most Charlotte Bobcats Thing Ever
Bobcats cheerleaders honor cheerleader stereotype by saluting troops on Columbus Day: http://t.co/hWP7J1a6tZ
— Tim Ryan (@TheSportsHernia) October 15, 2013
Need we say more than what was expressed by a thoroughly confused ryanrjrb on Instagram, below?
Bobcat Memes are The Best Memes
Actual prediction: 28-54, no playoffs.
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