Return Of The Mascot Power Rankings: The Revenge Of Mr. Testicles

  • Rick Chandler

Don’t you people understand? All Senhor Testiculo wants is to be loved.

Yes, Brazil has a mascot named Senhor Testiculo, or in English, Mr. Testicles. His main job is to roam from town to town reminding men to check their scrotum for signs of testicular cancer, but he also shows up at soccer matches and all other manner of sporting events — even if those events involve children.

I guess that’s a Brazilian thing. I just don’t think this would fly in Nebraska.

“Honey, get closer to the testicles — I need to get all three of you in the frame. No, closer. Hug the balls, dear. Now in this one, give Mr. Testicles a kiss. Hold it … ”

Senhor Testiculo is the lucky winner of the No. 1 slot in this month’s Mascot Power Rankings — a rundown of the most notable carpet-based creatures in sports and beyond. This is a feature I started back at NBC Sports, until certain court orders forced it into hiatus. I would have been wrestled to the ground by NBC security and tased if I had tried to post Mr. Balls, here.

If you spot a mascot doing something notable, like bothering children, send descriptions and/or photos to OK, here we go: