Russian Hockey Coach Has Perhaps Best Quote Ever Following Loss: ‘Eat Me Alive Right Now’

  • Rick Chandler

The Russians are out of the Olympic hockey tournament with no chance for a medal, and the country is not taking it well. Nope. Here’s the Olympic mascot bear, which is supposedly “inconsolable” following Russia’s 3-1 loss to Finland, but in our opinion is just hung over.

Besides, isn’t he supposed to be the mascot for the entire Winter Olympics, and not just the host nation? Shouldn’t he be a little happy for Finland, and the other three teams that moved on? That’s some provincial bullshit right there, Sochi Bear.

But the best reaction has to be from Russia’s head coach, Zinetula Bilyaletdinov, who engaged in a rather awesome interview following the loss, and turned a stupid question on its head and even provided some entertainment value. Excerpt:

Q: What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—

A: Well then, eat me alive right now—

Q: No, I mean—

A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.

Q: But we have the world championship coming up!

A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.

Q: But you’re staying, aren’t you?

A: Yes, I will remain living.

This surpasses, in my opinion, Maradonna’s “Suck it and keep on sucking it” from a few years back, when he was Argentina’s national coach. And with the new season of “The Walking Dead” upon us, it’s timely as well.

Unfortunately, we can’t give Bilyaletdinov perfect marks, because of this below:

What? Was he watching the same game we were?