So We’re All Ready To Jump Down Roger Federer’s Throat For Missing The French Open For A Stupid Baby Right?

  • Eric Goldschein

federersAlright guys, get your pitchforks ready: We’ve found another expecting dad who also happens to play professional sports, and he actually plans on taking time off if these two things (birth of child; scheduled sporting event) intersect. His name is Roger Federer, and he’s clearly a lazy, self-centered douche.

Recently, some schmuck named Daniel Murphy had the audacity to take his paternity leave at the beginning of the Mets’ season to be with his wife when she gave birth. Rich asshole couldn’t have paid a guy who looks like him to be there? Couldn’t get his wife to have a C-section before the season — putting the health of the child at risk, but whatever — and save the Mets the trouble of allowing Murphy the exercise the rights given to him by the MLB’s collective bargaining agreement? The nerve.

Now Federer, who has played in every tennis Grand Slam since 2000, says he could skip the French Open to be there when his wife has their third child. Can you believe this fucking guy? Here’s a quote (via Huff Po):

“So we’re just waiting. It’s a priority for me trying to be there, trying to support my wife,” Federer said Wednesday at the Monte Carlo Masters. “I’ve played enough tennis matches. Missing a tournament or missing a match wouldn’t change anything for me…

At the moment we hope it’s not going to be that way… If it is, that’s what it is, you know.”

Stop the god damn presses. You mean to tell me that Federer would be willing to miss a major tournament — which would be his first in fourteen years, and which takes place on his weakest surface — to see his CHILD be BORN? I thought this guy was a CHAMPION? I thought those 17 Grand Slam titles MEANT something? Apparently it’s all just so he can provide for his stupid FAMILY — which already includes TWO KIDS, BY THE WAY. I mean, Jesus, doesn’t he know that this one is basically the same thing as the other two?

Hopefully his wife Mirka gives birth in like 10 seconds or after 10 months of pregnancy, so the world won’t miss the number four ranked tennis player for even a single second. It’s a priority for us that Federer breaks the Grand Slam singles title record, so hopefully it is for him as well.

This message brought to you by bitchy New York radio hosts everywhere.

Photo via Wikipedia