Stephen Colbert Takes On Fox News' Obama-World Cup Soccer Conspiracy Theorists

  • Jake O'Donnell

“Why are we seeing soccer suddenly skyrocket?” Fox’s in-house head doctor Keith Ablow asked rhetorically. “Why are we so ready to be entertained?”

Some called a “Stuart Varney” thinks he knows the answer.

(NOTE: Varney is an unrepentant moron.)

“It’s because the news background about our country, our economy, our standing in the world, is overwhelmingly negative. It is awful. We’re approaching a recession, we’ve lost in Iraq, we’re downgraded the world over. We don’t want any part of that. We want to escape. So here’s the World Cup — how convenient.”

Keith Ablow, also a moron, abides.

“Yes, it’s a little too convenient when we have a president who, I contend, has it in for Americans, and we elected him because we were fearful at the time — ‘We better elect someone who’s not patriotic because, God, we could have terrorists attack us for being Americans.’ So, we did that.”

This is why Stephen Colbert makes $25 million a year.