Super Bowl Commercial Power Rankings: Watch A Woman Quit Her Job, For Real

  • Rick Chandler

So has done much to underwhelm us on Super Bowl Sunday over the past two years: the Bar Refaeli kiss-a-nerd spot from last year was kind of urpy and disgusting, and this year’s Danica Patrick bodybuilding ad didn’t even make our early top ten.

But now, as if to answer our challenge, Godaddy has navigated away from the sleaze and has produced something promising.

In the video preview seen below, John Turturro (“Brother Where Art Thou”, “The Big Lebowski”) introduces the premise, in which a real woman quits her job, with her boss’ genuine reaction to be shown in the commercial. Adweek:

The gambit is clearly inspired by prank videos. Presumably the woman’s boss had no idea this was coming, and will have a genuine reaction—positive or negative—that could be fun to see. UPDATE: GoDaddy sent through some more information. “Her boss doesn’t know!” the company says. “He or she is going to find out while watching the commercial with the rest of the viewers—after the commercial, a formal resignation letter will be delivered and she’ll give her two-week notice.”

The wording is kind of confusing: will this be live? Or live on tape? Anyway, it’s the second of the two Godaddy spots, and probably worth checking out even if the game is a dud.

Here are the updated power rankings, which will be presented each weekday as new full commercials and trailers debut:

1. See above. If this unnamed woman ends up kissing someone (don’t put it past them), we take back everything we wrote.

2. Chobani. This 60-second ad will air in the third quarter, and aside from using classic Bob Dylan (“I Want You”), how can you not love a bear who ransacks a store, takes only one cup of yogurt, and then tries to pay for it?

3. Axe Body Spray. In “Axe Peace: Make Love, Not War”, Axe poses the eternal question: what if all the world’s most war-loving leaders and their minions all started the day with a refreshing dose of scented liquid? Included here I see, apparently, is the Vietnam War, which predates Axe by a full decade. Better idea for that spot: how about Chris Christie getting sprayed down (shudder), then canceling the George Washington Bridge closure?

4. Audi. Doberhuahua. Know what I mean?

5. Dannon Oikos Yogurt. The terrifyingly surreal quality of this commercial cannot be understated — I think each one of us at one time has awaken in a cold sweat having dreamed just such a scenario. You and your former roommates, now in late middle age, all still living together. And the image of Dave Coulier in footy pajamas is just too jarring for network TV, in my opinion. Anyway, the three “Full House” stars are reuniting for multiple ads during the game (John Stamos has been a spokesman for Dannon for the past couple of years). Good luck getting to sleep tonight.

6. Toyota Highlander. This whole thing seems ominous, foreboding and hopefully funny. The mind runs wild with ideas, among them a stranded, desperately hungry Miss Piggy making a small meal out of Kermit.

Toyota is taking its “Let’s Go Places” theme into the Super Bowl with an ad featuring Terry Crews — a former NFL linebacker, formerly an Old Spice guy, and current star of Fox’s “Brooklyn Nine-Nine.” It also stars the Muppets.

The ad, which runs in the second quarter of the game, evinces a cross-promotional deal with Disney. The 60-second TV ad does double duty by touting the carpeted characters’ new Disney movie “Muppets Most Wanted,” which premieres in March.

The NFL and Disney seem poised to take as much of your money as possible.

7. CarMax. Their commercial, “Slow Clap”, isn’t that inspiring on its own, until you realize that they’ve also created another version, scene-for-scene, using puppies.

8. SodaStream. This was initially rejected by FOX, which then relented and let it in after SodaStream took out a negative reference to Coke and Pepsi — two huge Super Bowl sponsors.

Scarlett Johansson’s contention that SodaStream “will save the world” is rather ironic, considering the controversy surrounding her participation. The Israeli company has set up factories in the occupied West Bank, and Johansson’s defense isn’t convincing anyone.

9. Volkswagen. OK, enough with the teaser, which apparently had nothing to do with the actual ads. In this one, a father explains to his daughter that every time a car hits 100,000 miles, a Volkswagen engineer gets his wings. Never mind that they all seem to be middle-aged white guys.

10. Hyundai. If watching kids in peril is your thing, you’ll enjoy “Dad’s Sixth Sense”. How did the human race ever survive before automatic braking?

READ: Everything You Wanted To Know About The 2014 Super Bowl Commercials (But Were Afraid To Ask) [SportsGrid]