Usain Bolt Is Retiring After The 2016 Olympics, And We’re Sad

  • Matt Rudnitsky

Usain Bolt RetiringThis really, really sad news. Usain Bolt, the fastest human ever to run this Earth, is planning to retire after the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio De Janeiro.

In typical Bolt fashion, he said extremely cocky things that were somehow tasteful.

“I think it will be a good time to retire,” Bolt told the Associated Press, adding, “on top and just been dominating for so long.”

Bolt, 27, said he wants to again win gold in Rio, as well as set the world record in the 200 meters. He has won six gold medals in all, three each at the last two Olympiad.

“If I want to be among the greats of [Muhammad] Ali and Pele and all these guys I have to continue dominating until I retire,” Bolt told the AP.

This is three years away. Enjoy the man while you can, before he gets up and bolts (HAHAHAHAAHAHHA OMG YOU PROB DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT COMING).