By The Way, That Poor Little Ball Boy Who Got Kicked By Eden Hazard Isn’t Such A Poor Little Ball Boy

  • Jake O'Donnell

When you picture a ball boy, you probably imagine an aw-shucks-wowie-golly-gee-thanks-mister kind of kid, slowly dying of some disease, marveling at the unlikely chance to be near his heros, one…last…time. Apparently, this is not always the case.

Swansea City’s infamous ball boy-turned-assault-victim, as it turns out, is actually the son of the team’s owner and full-time international douche-kid of mystery, Charlie Morgan. Thanks to this little fart’s obnoxious twitter feed, we can see how karma may have played a role in getting him kicked in the ribs by fellow young kabillionaire, Eden Hazard (albeit one whose wealth stems from proficiently kicking things with immense power). Whatever happened to rich folks just slapping each other with little white gloves?

His feed is a factory of jealousy-inducing photos: a tricked out, spanking new Audi A1, dinner receipts for $150,000, a smashed Veuve Clicquot bottle – this kid clearly sucks. Not to mention that he calls himself the king of wasting time, a title anointed to he who nobly Instagrams designer towels and Virgin Atlantic “Upper Class” socks. (Wonder why they didn’t go with “Upper Crust” for the socks?)

Sure, no one likes getting beat up on national TV. And apparently it’s a common practice – even encouraged by some accounts – for ball boys to delay/speed up the game. But, for reals, if anybody had it coming, it was Louis Vitton Von Poopypants. I still don’t know what’s more ridiculous: ball boys being urged to directly affect matches, players kicking them while they lay on the ground, or a little kid with his own hotel room tormenting the poor folks at the front desk.

Either way, I’m glad this doesn’t happen over here.