You’ve Landed On UnderArmor: New Monopoly Game Has Corporate Brands Instead Of Street Names

  • Rick Chandler

First they changed the tokens, then they actually removed the jail in order to make the game go faster for younger players (damn liberals!). Now Hasbro has tinkered with the venerable board game Monopoly once again: replacing properties such as “Boardwalk” and “Park Place” with corporations. I for one am stunned: people still play board games?

It’s called Monopoly Empire, and one would think that Nike would be all over this. But instead we get UnderArmor as one of the properties in the new version, along with Samsung, Coca Cola, Yahoo!, McDonald’s, and yes, Nerf. Among others. Nike may come to regret this: just as Mars Candy did when they passed up an offer to include their M&Ms in the movie “E.T.”. The second choice, Reese’s Pieces, ended up in the film.

The tokens: Coca Cola bottle, Ducati Motorcycle, Xbox Controller, Chevrolet Sports Car, McDonald’s Fries, or Paramount Film Clapper. Here’s an explanation of the new rules:

Also, you no longer have to keep up with all the various properties and their worth! To win, you just fill your tower with billboards by buying brands. If you’re the first to hit the top, you win!

“You have landed on a privately-owned small business. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 … in fact, please leave the room. You lose.”

From Hasbro:

Buy and trade the world’s top brands and be first to the top!
Cool brand tokens
Fast, fun gameplay
Watch the Monopoly Empire towers rise and fall

Ages 8 and up

Before you get too outraged over all of this, please note that there have been more than 100 versions of Monopoly over the years, including one developed in Great Britain during World War II that was sent to prisoners of war in Nazi camps. “Hidden inside these games were maps, compasses, real money, and other objects useful for escape.”


Photo: Hasbro publicity handout.