GOT Recap, Ep. 6: Can A Brother Just Get Some Seconds On Bread?
We've seen some remarkable atrocities in six seasons of Game of Thrones -- if a kid being thrown from a tower for witnessing incest didn't shock you, how about hacking off a guy's penis, or burning a young girl at the stake?
But now they've gone too far. We know that the Tarlys hold the world's worst dinner banquets -- last-minute cancellations must make their castle filthy with Raven droppings. Example: Samwell's mom offers him more bread, and just as Sam is about to choose a hunk, his dad says: "Not fat enough already?" It's like they're spying on Thanksgiving with my family.
Jesus, Randyll Tarly, it's just bread. What a douchebag.
This was actually one of the best scenes of the episode: check out the analysis of how it was shot, expertly done by Slate. It's an indication of why Game of Thrones is so good -- no scene is a throwaway scene. One would think that dinner at the Tarlys wouldn't demand this much detail, but this is what comes of having three or four different production teams in far-flung areas of the globe, working on the same show. It's like they're all competing against each other to see who can do the best work. And that's good for us.
By the way, for those who haven't studied GOT lore, Randyll Tarly is one bad dude. He was involved in just about every battle in Robert's Rebellion, won most of them, and is still involved in the war. He's a major player in the bloody history of Westeros, but on this night his main concern is that his son doesn't filch extra bread. So Sam stole the family sword instead. Seems a bit extreme for being denied seconds at dinner, but there's no figuring what a hungry man will do.
World's Worst Play Nears End Of Its Run
There have been a couple of people on GOT podcasts noting that they love the play that's been part of the Arya story for the past couple of episodes. I'm no theater critic, but I could not disagree more. It's poorly written and the acting is even worse -- as the actors themselves admit backstage. Plus, I hear it's tanking at the box office, possibly due to the fact that random people can apparently just walk up and see it for free. We know that Arya doesn't have any money, and she's seen it three times.
So Jaqen H'ghar has basically told Arya that this murder assignment is her second and last chance -- screw this up, and it will be her face next on the wall. Of course the Waif, that little narc, is spying like Nellie Oleson, and sees that Arya indeed spares her victim. Then Arya retrieves her sword, needle, preparing for the inevitable showdown with the Waif and her pole. When Arya blows out the candle in her little room, we realize that the showdown will be in the dark, a place she is accustomed to, having been blind and all.
Arya is now an member of the League of Shadows.
(IN BANE VOICE): "Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it. The shadows betray you, because they belong to me!"
Valar Morghulis. Deshi Basara.
Nevada's Bunny Ranch Has Girls Dress As GOT Characters
One of Nevada's most popular brothels has a new attraction, as owner Dennis Hof figures he can cash in on the HBO show's popularity with his customers. Press release from The Bunny Ranch:
“Every Sunday, I invite the girls to my house for a Game Of Thrones watching party, and the storylines often end up carrying over into our bedroom activities. We enjoy having our own afterparty, and I want to share that experience with the clients of my brothels who also happen to be fans of the show.”
If this doesn't end in a Walk of Atonement nothing will.
Brienne The Beauty
Don't know where this is from, but I'm starting to come around to Tormund's way of thinking. This is the same woman in both photos.
Brienne game of thrones pic.twitter.com/n7WzRird5M
— 9GAG Tweets (@9GAGTweets) May 31, 2016
The High Sparrow Looks Extra Grimy Today
JAMIE LANNISTER: "You look different."
HIGH SPARROW: "I wear an extra layer of filth for special occasions."
I understand the sack dress, and the barefoot thing. But where in the scriptures of The Seven does it forbid bathing? Man, High Sparrow, it's the big showdown with the Lannisters and Tyrells -- hop in a tub.
Many are tiring of the High Sparrow story line -- we don't hate him anymore, we just want him to go away. Such is it with all religious demagogues. But when the guy in charge of the opposition is King Tommen, well, I'm surprised the HS isn't on the iron throne already. The collective IQ among the leaders of King's Landing must be down in double digits.
Next week: King Tommen loses in chess to The Mountain.
But I like how Queen Margaery is playing Go while everyone else is playing checkers. The mistake made here by the Faith Militant is that they placed her alone in a cell for five episodes, with nothing to do but plot the demise of her enemies. Bad idea. From her tiny cell she's orchestrated her release, a sham alliance between the crown and The Faith, the humiliation of the Lannisters, and the avoidance of blood in the streets. Her father's army is as shiny and rested as ever. Now back in the Red Keep where she can really maneuver, her next move should be a whopper.
And speaking of what happens next, we'll be discussing episode 7, The Broken Man, one week from today. Join us then.
Oh, and here are some stills from that episode 7. Much is revealed ...
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