Headline Of The Day So Far: ‘Cyclist Saved By His Miracle Penis’
Gather 'round kids, because we're now going to explain electricity and conductivity as it pertains to cycling and the penis.
So a man in Croatia was cycling down a country road during a sudden thunderstorm while listening to music on his headphones when he was stuck in the head by lightning. Normally that would have been curtains for Zoran Jurkovic, 41, from the village of Petrovci.
But according to a Croatian newspaper, Jurkovic was saved by his "miracle penis." The lightning bolt, it seems, did not travel down through his chest, frying vital organs. Instead it went down through the wires of his headphones, and out through his penis, which acted as a grounding device, or I guess one could say, lightning rod.
Doctors said it was a miracle that the charge missed his heart. From the newspaper: "Doctors hailed his penis as a miracle." Daily Mail:
The lucky escapee said: "I saw black clouds and flashes of light appear in the sky and thunder could be heard booming across the nearby fields. I tried to ride faster to get to shelter in time, but I was too late."
Passers-by driving in a van witnessed the incident and one of them said: "We were shocked when we saw the man. He was sitting in the rain and steam was coming out of his body. The bicycle was next to him. We took him in our van and drove him to the hospital. Doctors were also amazed that he was alive."
The sentence Doctors hailed his penis as a miracle was not one I thought I'd read today, but cheers! Moral: Always stop your van when encountering a cyclist seated on the ground emitting smoke. It's the right thing to do.
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