It bills itself “The Future of Sport.” But make no mistake: if you tried it, your life would become a thing of the past. [Reddit/The Big Lead]

We’re just one week removed from national signing day for high school prospects, and you know what that means: time to start looking forward to next year’s signing day! Today, to help you do just that, Rivals released its initial list of the top 100 players in the high school class of 2013. As we were looking over this list, though, something jumped out at us even more than these players’ talents: their names. 10 doozies after the jump.

You’ve been hearing a lot about supermodel/Tom Brady’s wife Gisele Bundchen these last few days. And some people have heard just about enough.

Well, considering this a 16-pound, four-foot-long object we’re talking about, we guess the result could have been worse. [ The Score]

If we were Kendrick Perkins, we’d probably be tired of hearing all about Blake Griffin’s huge dunk over us. So it comes as no surprise to us to hear, via Yahoo’s Marc J. Spears, that Perkins indeed wasn’t a fan of some of the hyperventilating excitement that followed the play. And somehow it surprises us even less to hear who, exactly, Perkins had a problem with.

The internet – especially given the immediacy of tools like Twitter – is really, really good at making fun of things, and quickly. For better or worse, a whole lot of things get made fun of on a constant basis – enough so that when you see snark being slung, it hardly registers. But sometimes something comes along that stands out.

After the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl on Sunday night, a “disturbance” broke out on the UMass campus, involving approximately 1,500 students and resulting in 14 arrests. It was a messy scene – and one Giants fan tried to make it messier. He paid the price.

Steve Weatherford is quickly turning into one of our favorite Giants. We loved him for being that excited (and cursing that clearly) about going to the Super Bowl, and now that he’s actually won it, he’s outdone himself.

A star athlete. A Supermodel. A New York-Boston rivalry. The Super Bowl – one of the signature media events out there. Cursing. The recent Tom Brady-Gisele stories are everything the New York Post ever wanted…and the paper’s not letting the opportunity go to waste.