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Guys, Enough With The Stomping Little Kids For Spring Training Souvenir Balls

  • Jake O'Donnell

Between the runaway stroller from last week’s Mets game and yesterday’s “GET DOWN MR. PRESIDENT!” moment at Surprise Stadium, we’re starting to question the moral fabric of this fine nation.

Dear Dads,

Souvenir balls are just like the kind you can buy at a sporting goods store. Kids cannot do this, seeing as they have no money, which is why they must scavenge balls at Spring Training games. (Also, Billy Butler home run balls aren’t exactly Babe Ruth’s Yankees cap.) Next time, let it slide.

The balls — not the strollers.

Sincerely,
God, probably

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