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It’s Come To This: You Can Now Own David Ortiz’s Beard Hair As A Memorabilia Item

  • Jake O'Donnell

Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Ew.

Ew.

Ew ew ew? Ew ew. Ewwwwww.

The current highest bid on eBay is $610 and climbing. Victorino’s “beard ball” (yes, the hair has been bundled into a shape) is up to $310 (and climbing). The proceeds go to Movember, a men’s health awareness charity. Um, that’s great and all, but where do we draw the line with this kind of stuff? Auctioning neck hair? Chest hair? Poop? C’mon America, just donate the money.

There is no God.

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