Clark the Cub, the Chicago Cubs’ new, kid-friendly mascot (“Tailspin”, “Pedobear” and A-Rod’s Gummy Testosterone supplements all come to mind) is making his first public appearance as we speak: at the Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center’s Pediatric Developmental Center. Why the Cubs decided to roll out a kid-centric mascot two weeks after Christmas is a marketing strategy only they can explain. But it’s so very Chicago Cubs.
They’re calling Clark “the Cubs’ first official mascot”, and while technically that may be true, the team has taken a shot at this before. The black-and-white photo above is circa 1908 and shows
ManBearPig an early attempt at a bear-like mascot, which of course more resembles a giant zombie squirrel (Run! I’ll try to light it on fire!).
Coincidentally, 1908 is the last time the Cubs won a World Series. Did the team have that in mind when they rolled out Clark?
And sharp-eyed baseball historians may have noticed this:
Yes, this photo includes the legendary double play combination of Tinker-to-Evers-to-Giant Moldy Muskrat.
Anyway, as you can see below, Clark is much beloved already!
“Mommy, why does Clark the Cub smell like Uncle Buck’s living room carpet?”
— It's a long season. (@mighty_flynn) January 13, 2014
— John Marecek (@JohnMarecek) January 13, 2014
— Adam Kramer (@KegsnEggs) January 13, 2014
Clark the Cub's out of proportion musculature shows obvious signs of steroid use. Way worse than Sosa.
— Glenn Stout (@GlennStout) January 13, 2014
Turn that hat around and act like a professional mascot, Clark the Cub. pic.twitter.com/9Q28wI6WJQ
— Travis Haney (@TravHaneyESPN) January 13, 2014
Clark the Cub has sad eyes. He looks like he has seen some real atrocities, and for that reason, I think he is perfect for this job.
— D.J. Foster (@fosterdj) January 13, 2014
Chicago Cubs new mascot Clark the Cub. Soul of a dead cubs fan was bonded to a care bear. Look at his pain. Kill him. pic.twitter.com/pgiiRJQQR7
— Jordan + Bunny (@jordanbks) January 13, 2014
Clark the Cub is sad because Rahm Emanuel just cut the funding for his school
— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) January 13, 2014
Clark the Cub looks to be the exact same size as Ryan Theriot. Hmmm.
— Ben Finfer (@BenFinfer) January 13, 2014