NBA

Here Are 10 Of The Worst New NBA Uniforms You’ll See This Season

by Dylan Murphy | 6:53 pm, November 6th, 2012

The NBA season is upon us, which means it’s time for an acid-tounged SportsGrid editor (me) to acid-tounge the hell out of this year’s crop of new uniforms. Ultimately it’s the basketball that counts, the men inside the uniforms. But sometimes you totally have to judge a book by its cover. And let me tell you, there are some pretty bad covers. We feel particularly bad for the Charlotte Bobcats, who can’t even look good while they suck.

Note: We’ve already gone over the fashion disaster that is Denver and San Antonio if you care for a closer, more acid-tounged look.

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1.1. Cleveland Cavaliers

There's minimalist simplicity, and then there's doing absolutely nothing with your uniform. Not to mention that the only two colors present don't even go together well. It's basically Lakers' gold gone horribly awry.

2.2. Los Angeles Clippers

What's with the unintelligible cursive? Why is the number off-center? The blue is a nice color, but it doesn't feel very Clipper-y. I mean, look at DeAndre Jordan. He is not pleased with what he's wearing.

3.3. New York Knicks

Just look at that blue trim. Keeping looking at it. Now try not to let it scorch your eyes. Too much contrast, uniform designer.

4.4. San Antonio Spurs

There's too much wrong here for a blurb, so we wrote a post about it.

5.5. Charlotte Bobcats

The middle one isn't half bad. But the whole Cats thing is awkward if only because the lettering is GIANT. And Bobcats are way more terrifying than Cats, I think. Not that the Bobcats are terrifying.

6.6. Denver Nuggets

Just look at Andre Iguodala's face. He is not pleased. That is all.

7.7. Miami Heat

And here we have the NBA's first one-color jersey. Who knew this was possible. I imagine David Stern cackling in a corner because he saved money on ink. The only thing that could make this worse is if it were "El Heat."

8.8. Oklahoma City Thunder

Nobody's actually seen OKC's new alternate, so all we have is this NBA 2K13 screencap. The current Thunder jerseys are pretty nice. These are not. Why there's a random giant stripe and vertical lettering is a mystery to me. English isn't written vertically, as far as I know.

9.9. Portland Trail Blazers

For some reason this makes me think of the Jail Blazers. Also, that floating stripe is weird. It's connected to nothing.

10.10. Sacramento Kings

This isn't even new this year, but we're acid-tounging it for shits and giggles. Mostly shits though. Even a year later, nobody knows why the number is gray.

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Ben

i think the nuggets and thunders are kinda cool actually
http://www.facebook.com/DerekBigNTastyWolnik Derek HivamatGuru Wolnik-Hockm

might be better if they spelled thunder right
Shourjo

This whole article is akin to WAAAAAH WHY SO DIFFERENT!!??
Aaron Schain

this article fcking sucks
Carolyn

I am wondering how they can get these young men to wear such uncomfortable looking and unattractive uniforms. I used to wear similar outfits growing up as a young woman and they were called divided skirts and the undergarments were called girdles! Do they have to pay them more money to wear such awful uniforms? I would hope they would not wear them without protesting at least!!
Carolyn

Oh, and did I mention we wore them with high heels.
NoNameIncluded

clippers, knicks and nuggets are pretty good for my taste.. :)
WhyDoYouCare

It says thudner and not thunder on the jereseys, lol…
Cooper

Whoever wrote this has clinical down-sydrome because all of these jerseys are tight except for the thunders
Andy

portland and sacremento ones are actually good
No.

*Tongue
Brian Newell

The new Thunder jerseys are a ripoff of the original Blazers jerseys.
Anonymous

never write an article ever again. thanks
John

The Clippers Uniforms are great. The off center numbers are in style of the dodgers. The Bobcats look a helluva lot better than last year. The Cavs have greatly improved their uniforms, and yellow and maroon is a classic combination (um, USC?) The Thunder is just going for a never done before look and I think it looks pretty good. The Blazers uniform looks perfectly fine, and the Knick’s is barely any different than usual. The Nuggets uniform is a little flashy, but cool at the same time. I will give you that the Kings and Spurs alternates look horrible but this article is horrible
Not Denzel

The Spurs jerseys are ugly. Otherwise you are hating on some pretty cool jerseys. If you actually think these jerseys look as bad as they do, then maybe you need to pay closer attention to what you’re wearing to work everyday.
gordon

very bad judgement
Max Keeble

Why df is james harden on the thunder bench?
brobertson

pathetic article. these are majority of the new uniforms released this year. what a fucking hater.
Anonymous

Why did the Cavs/Nuggets ditch their cool uniforms for their new ones? They had one of the best jerseys in the NBA. Garbage.

Bobcats/Blazers are actually cool looking.
http://www.facebook.com/thomaz.cottabadaro Thomaz Cotta Badaró

whoever did this has the worst taste on earth… jesus christs…
Dear Oh Dear.

Why can’t you spell tongue? It’s not a typo. You’ve erred in two separate instances.