NBA Here Are 10 Of The Worst New NBA Uniforms You’ll See This Season
The NBA season is upon us, which means it’s time for an acid-tounged SportsGrid editor (me) to acid-tounge the hell out of this year’s crop of new uniforms. Ultimately it’s the basketball that counts, the men inside the uniforms. But sometimes you totally have to judge a book by its cover. And let me tell you, there are some pretty bad covers. We feel particularly bad for the Charlotte Bobcats, who can’t even look good while they suck.
Note: We’ve already gone over the fashion disaster that is
Denver and San Antonio if you care for a closer, more acid-tounged look.
1.1. Cleveland Cavaliers
There's minimalist simplicity, and then there's doing absolutely nothing with your uniform. Not to mention that the only two colors present don't even go together well. It's basically Lakers' gold gone horribly awry.
2.2. Los Angeles Clippers
What's with the unintelligible cursive? Why is the number off-center? The blue is a nice color, but it doesn't feel very Clipper-y. I mean, look at DeAndre Jordan. He is
not pleased with what he's wearing.
3.3. New York Knicks
Just look at that blue trim. Keeping looking at it. Now try not to let it scorch your eyes. Too much contrast, uniform designer.
4.4. San Antonio Spurs
There's too much wrong here for a blurb, so we
wrote a post about it.
5.5. Charlotte Bobcats
The middle one isn't half bad. But the whole Cats thing is awkward if only because the lettering is GIANT. And Bobcats are way more terrifying than Cats, I think. Not that the Bobcats are terrifying.
6.6. Denver Nuggets
Just look at Andre Iguodala's face.
He is not pleased. That is all.
7.7. Miami Heat
And here we have the NBA's first one-color jersey. Who knew this was possible. I imagine David Stern cackling in a corner because he saved money on ink. The only thing that could make this worse is if it were "El Heat."
8.8. Oklahoma City Thunder
Nobody's actually seen OKC's new alternate, so all we have is this NBA 2K13 screencap. The current Thunder jerseys are pretty nice. These are not. Why there's a random giant stripe and vertical lettering is a mystery to me. English isn't written vertically, as far as I know.
9.9. Portland Trail Blazers
For some reason this makes me think of the Jail Blazers. Also, that floating stripe is weird. It's connected to nothing.
10.10. Sacramento Kings
This isn't even new this year, but we're acid-tounging it for shits and giggles. Mostly shits though. Even a year later, nobody knows why the number is gray.