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BREAKING NEWS: Jeff Van Gundy Hates Paddle Boats

During ABC’s rather majestic shot of Echo Park Lake in Los Angeles, everyone’s favorite human being dropped his two cents on a long-standing scam perpetrated on the American people: Paddle boat rides.

“You’re like, doing your feet at like, 100 miles per hour, to never pick up any speed,” he said.

During the Clippers-Warriors Game 1.

On television.

“It’s annoying,” he added. He would be correct, as paddle boats have never been as much fun as they look (which isn’t saying much because they do not look very fun). They’re kind of like slightly mobile hot tubs with little pools of stagnant water sloshing around in the parts where your butt and feet go. Terrible idea.

As far the Warriors-Clips game is concerned — complete with Van Gundy’s rants and the back-and-forth scoring — it’s EXACTLY why we love the NBA. More of this, please.

[Photo via Wikipedia]

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