BREAKING: Bobcats Fans Exist, And They Really Don’t Like The Cody Zeller Pick
Five minutes ago, I called the Charlotte Bobcats No. 4 overall draft pick, Cody Zeller, “Darkody Zeller.” That is because he is soft and I expect his NBA performance to resemble that of notorious NBA Draft bust (and beacon of racism?), Darko Milicic. And when you combine their names, cross-cultural comedy forms.
It’s also because I once spent an entire Michigan-Indiana game heckling him, and a Michigan fan oddly defended him with a fervor reserved for a Tebowian churchgoer, “Hey, he’s a great player, man! Stop calling him a useless pile of booger-filled, store-brand tissues, or I’ll call security! I reiterate: a Michigan fan.
I like Bobcats fans. They agree with my assessment.
Hey, at least he made a funny joke:
I was going to shave to get ready for tonight, but then I remembered that I don't have the ability to grow facial hair #draftdreams
— Cody Zeller (@CodyZeller) June 27, 2013
It’s funny because he’s an overgrown child.