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Poopyfaced LeBron Addresses Haters In His Instagram Video Debut, Says “Shit” And “Stank”

Wow I guess it just hit me! LoL #LoveWhatIDo #AkronStandUp.” Akron Stand Up? Is that, like, an open mic he’s promoting? Because I KNOW he’s not implying that he somehow won a championship for Ohio by running off to Miami.

If he really wanted to get Akron to stand up, he’d have either stayed in Cleveland, or at least flown in a complimentary bottle of Dom Perignon (I think they ordered something stupid like 100 bottles, including those big ass ones that don’t look real.) Hey, but there’s always the year after next, when he might opt out and either head back to Cleveland, play pro football, or just ask the Heat for a mega-contract.

I digress, this championship is all about silencing haters. Which it should, because there are a lot of them, and the Heat won the NBA finals despite showing signs that they can’t dominate the playoffs the way they’ve dominated the regular season. “Please continue to motivate me,” Bronzo told the über-critical media. “I need you guys.”

Rebuttal: Hey, please continue to sporadically lose Game 1′s and you’ll always get that extra push. Jordan (ugh, HIM again) never needed any motivation outside of his burning desire to be better than every person on the face of the Earth (a desire that has lead him to face challenges he is clearly unprepared to handle…coughbobcats. Ahem.) Now, as far as the “stank” of his “two rings”…he might just be confusing that with Shane Battier’s leftover Denny’s that’s been sitting around since Thursday.

  • jim

    I’m sorry. This guy is obviously a GREAT athlete, possibly the greatest ever in his game, that remains to be seen, although I doubt he’ll ever surpass MJ. But, in my opinion he exudes serious self-esteem issues! All the whining and nanner-nanners is so damn childish, he’s pushing 30!! Taken from that great philosopher CC….COME ON MAN!!!! Grow up or seek therapy, Lebron, become an adult, you aren’t close yet!

  • JT

    So its ok for EVERY so called basketball expert,broadcaster,and talk show hosts to dog him every time he misses a shot or his team loses a game and he cant respond after back-to-back titles;please.This dude gets bashed more than any other athlete except maybe A-Rod and the worst thing hes ever done is leave Cleveland,if thats considered bad.

  • John Hurk

    MJ 6 and Labran 2 !!! … guess what Bulls are next the WIN it all…. Long ways Labran .You Need 4 more … Longways ,many steps to the stage of MJ….!
    GAME 6 should of been called over for the HEAT… but i guess they got lucky from that Point on….

  • Jake O’Donnell

    Also, handles himself like a child.

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