- At Least The Alabama Kicker's Girlfriend Is Awfully Attractive
- Random White Guy Convinces China He's Roger Federer, Signs Countless Autographs
- The Muhammad Ali Vs. Michael Jordan Rap Battle
- Our NFL-Themed Ugly Christmas Sweaters Have Arrived
- Column: Because Of Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo For Golden Ball
Man Writes To Pelicans, Says He’s ‘Better Than LeBron, MJ, Kobie’, Seeks $1 Million
This is great. Letter to Pelicans from man claiming to be "better than LeBron, MJ, Kobie." Seeks $1 million salary pic.twitter.com/Gbq2QpoawB
— Jim Eichenhofer (@Jim_Eichenhofer) September 4, 2013
Look, this guy here doesn’t need a tryout. You’ll just have to take it on his word that he’s as good as he says he is and sign him up, Pelicans. Here’s the translation, I believe by Rant Sports:
How would you like a 1 mill a year superstar better than KD LeBron James MJ Kobie Bryant. I am serious I’m top notch. I haven’t played in 5 years and can do it all. Need to practice I am rusty. I am 6’3″ to 6’5″ can do shot’s block post pass defend rebound steal run do it all. Come get in touch I’ll be top of the NBA in two years. I’m [redacted] want only 1 mill for life a year. At least come get me [???] me one year. Phone [redacted] [???] [redacted]. I’m what you need for total success. I play hurt sick and still win. See ya.
Best reply so far:
@Jim_Eichenhofer go home Stephon Marbury, you're drunk…
— Max Rappaport (@MaxRappaport) September 4, 2013
The Pelicans will sign him, but only on the days that he’s 6-foot-5. When he’s 6-foot-3, he can stay home.
- Filed Under:
- new orleans pelicans
- Weigh-in Has Alien, Short Cake, Kick-Ass Threats
- Cotto Crushes Rodriguez In Three Rounds
- Verlander and Kate Upton are an Item
- Smartest Fighter in UFC?