- Now This Is The Way You Play Foosball (Rio Carnival Slideshow!)
- College Basketball Top 25: So, We're Just Gonna Let Villanova Into The Top Three?
- The Fantasy Sports Network Has Launched, And You Can Watch It Live, Right Now
- Remember When Dennis Rodman Was Insanely Good At Rebounding Rather Than Just Insane?
- Florida Basketball 'Chasing Greatness' In The Season's Stretch Run
The Projected Starting Lineups For The NBA All-Star Game Are Terrible
UPDATE: The All Stars have been announced. Check out the rosters via NBA.com here and see below for more details.
The starting lineups for the 2014 NBA All-Star Game will be announced tonight on “Inside The NBA,” which hopefully means we’ll get some masturbation jokes in with our hard news. (Boom.)
Based on earlier voting returns, CBS Sports has the results we should expect to see, barring any unforeseen surges moments before the tallies became official. Who was voted an All Star by the fans this year?
Is this a joke? Nope. Both lineups have glaring omissions and even more startling admissions that make it clear: We need to take the power from the people starting next year. The people are stupid. They are blinded by flash and recency bias and they give little thought to players who are actually playing well this season.
First, the East:
PG: Kyrie Irving? Look, just because a guy dresses up as an old man and dunks on “unsuspecting” playground ballers doesn’t mean he deserves an All Star start. Irving is a great player, one of the best guards in the league, but so far this year will be chalked up as a regression rather than ascension. He’s 12th in points per game, 16th in assists, 35th in steals. Meanwhile, John Wall is 15th, 4th and 4th in those same categories, on a better team.
SG: Dwyane Wade? After tonight, Wade will have played in just 30 of Miami’s 43 games so far this season. He doesn’t qualify for points per game list due to his limited playing time, but if he did, he’d be 29th in the league at 18.9. His output in his shortened season does not scream, or even whisper “All Star.”
F: LeBron James? Alright, fine.
F: Paul George? Alright, fine.
F: Carmelo Anthony? Melo has been playing his ass off (on the offensive end) for the shitty Knicks, and he definitely deserves an All Star spot. But shouldn’t we be honoring a center here? If no one was deserving I’d be fine with it, however it seems ridiculous that the front-runner for Defensive Player of the Year Roy Hibbert won’t get another start. He’s better now than he was when he was first named an All Star.
And the West:
PG: Chris Paul? He’s only been in 36 games, but he’s been lights out when he’s on the court, so alright, fine.
SG: Kobe Bryant? Even Kobe himself told people not to vote for him this year, considering he’s played in six games this year. And in those six games, he wasn’t very good. OH BUT HE’S KOBE AND I LOVE KOBE THAT’S MY DUDE HE GETS ALL THE RESPECTS AND DAPS. There are so many deserving guards out west — Stephen Curry, James Harden, Damian Lillard, even Isiah Thomas — that won’t get a selection because of this. Thanks, world.
F: Kevin Durant? Alright, fine.
F: Blake Griffin? Tough call here. Griffin is probably deserving (though he’s not the “Top 5″ NBA player than Bruce Bowen thinks he is, for some reason), but LaMarcus Alridge not getting the call is disappointing. Ditto Kevin Love. Both of those guys are averaging more points and rebounds than Blake. But Blake dunks ball good so he win.
C: Dwight Howard? This guy got the nod? C’mon. I would have gone Love or even DeMarcus Cousins here.
Some people might say, “Hey, this is just an exhibition game, no one cares, whatever. People want to see the guys they know anyway.” But an All Star game appearance is a big deal to fans of the Blazers, or Pacers, or T-Wolves, don’t usually have much to hang their hats on. Plus, All Star appearances are a major factor in deciding a player’s post-career legacy. Guys are getting shafted because people have an immense collective erection for Kobe Bryant, since he’s used to be the man and #mambalikevino or whatever.
These results are unfair to those who deserve to be recognized, and if they hold — regardless of whether replacements are made due to injury — it’s an official injustice. Next year, only I get to vote.
UPDATE: The official rosters are out. Turns out, Stephen Curry got the nod over Chris Paul and Kevin Love surged past Dwight Howard for the center spot. While Curry is a fantastic, welcome addition, Kobe getting in over Paul is still lame.
Photo via Getty
- Trainer Robert Garcia Spills Marcos Maidana Secrets
- Marcos Maidana Drops Jaws
- No More Mr. Nice Guy: Manny Pacquiao Gets Real
- Sugar Ray Leonard Touts Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s Success